


What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas (doesn’t really)

by Danessa33



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Crack, Crimes are commited, Humor, M/M, Mainly drinking too much alcohol, Post-Canon, Yuuri suffers but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:05:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danessa33/pseuds/Danessa33
Summary: Yuuri thinks he is a good person, or at least he tries to be. Definitely not perfect, but he is sure at least a decent individual. So as he stares at the scene playing out before him, he wonders, what his past self must have done for him to deserve this hell. Surely he was an assassin or serial killer or even worse… kicked a dog.





	What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas (doesn’t really)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnahiLP](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnahiLP/gifts).



Yuuri was struggling to keep himself in check. He kept fidgeting with the edge of his shirt, pulling on a thread that was coming loose at the cuffs.

It wasn’t everyday that he committed a crime, he had all the right in the world to be nervous!

Not that he would ever do anything against the law if he had the choice, not even crossing a street without a green light. (He did cross a road where there was no marked crosswalk, but it was just once, and he felt so bad about it, he never did it again)

Like most problems at this point in his life it could all be resumed to a single cause, in bolded letters probably with a really tacky emphasis effect; It was Viktor’s fault. Well, that would be giving him too much credit, it was also Christophe’s fault. Yuuri’s only mistake in all of this was at life decisions, namely getting engaged to Viktor.

For a further explanation of the events leading to _this_ , well, he happens to be very much in love with Viktor Nikiforov. Who happens to have a really close friendship with Christophe Giacometti, of all people. And it happened to be that the two of them put together are the most reckless of idiots, and should never be considered capable of making logical adult decisions when left to their own devices.

 

—

Three weeks before

—

 

Guest list. Floral arrangements. Color dynamic. Photographer. Music. Caterers. When would be would be best? It would have too be off season to accommodate for all guests. Centered around a theme, to form a cohesive image, one subtle enough as not to be overbearing or tacky. Special dietary requirements, time for a honeymoon, is he forgetting something? Yeah probably. After all, too many things have to be accounted for in a wedding.

 _Seriously, who invented this list of requirements?_ He wondered. _Isn’t it supposed to be a celebration of the union between two people? Why do we need all this stuff?_

Without a fixed date looming in the near future, he was planning on just casually exploring some ideas for their wedding. Or so had he thought about an hour ago when he got started, but everything was getting _really_ overwhelming, _really_ fast. Yuuri headed quickly towards a headache.

He was perched on his favorite spot of the couch, a thick blanket hugging him tightly. The quiet buzzing of the laptop's cooling system running on the background, together with the rattling of the windows in their frames, fighting to keep the freezing winter air outside. Their apartment was strangely still without Viktor and Makkachin in it, they should be getting back from their evening walk soon. He looked out through the glass and saw the darkening street, the snow falling in rapid spirals, being illuminated by a nearby streetlamp and joining the already thick blanket that decorates the city’s floor. Turning back toward his computer screen, the sight of his browser greeted him, only a row of little x’s of how much tabs he had open, he sighed resignedly.

Now Yuuri being Yuuri, needed to investigate everything a _long_ time in advance to feel comfortable about something of this magnitude, the fact that he will spend his whole life together with Viktor. That that’s what both of them want.

There is too much going on with their lives at the moment to consider a marriage date in the next months, but they will get there soon. Where they will be living, or what’s closer to their family and friends, what will be the most beautiful location, what should be their priority when choosing a place? Suddenly, he stopped, where will they get married?

Marriage laws, yes that is important. What will they do after the season ends, retiring was not a question at the moment. Stay in St. Petersburg, maybe go to Japan or to the U.S.? He would like to continue studying and get a Masters if possible, he will have to discuss it with Viktor. What the future holds for them is uncertain, possibilities overflowing in every turn on the road, taking new forms and opening new paths for them to follow. But no matter what happens they’ll pursue their future side by side, and that reassures him enormously.

 _It should not be difficult, we will just keep it simple,_ he added as an afterthought.

 

—

Yuuri found himself _lying_ in a court of law, claiming to be having an extramarital affair with Viktor. Meanwhile, Christophe played a really convincing heartbroken spouse. Yuuri could even see some tears, he was almost moved. Viktor professed dramatically his change of heart, saying something about fate, passions that can’t be extinguished, and dogs? Yuuri stopped paying attention when the monologue hit the five minute mark—he was officially dead inside.

He looked at the clock on the wall behind the jury to record his official time of death, and saw the judge that had to suffer hearing through all of this nonsense. She seemed to be even more done with them than him, if that was even possible. Viktor started doing a reenactment of… well of something. He supposed it was to be a dialogue between the two of them, but he definitely did not talk like that. The apologizing part may be true though, what was Viktor doing with his hands? Oh no no no.

At this point, the judge’s forehead vein was visibly pulsing. Hiding his red face behind his hands, he realized that if Viktor didn’t stop, someone was going to be dead soon. (If it wasn’t the judge, he was going to murder the two idiots out of sheer embarrassment.) He glanced back over to the source of his suffering. Both Christophe and Viktor found his eyes, smiled at each other and turned towards him having the gall to _wink_.

That sealed it really, they were dead the moment they got out, maybe he could talk Yura into helping.

—

 

 

“What are you doing love?” said Viktor, walking into the apartment, Makkachin on tow. He stood on the doorway, snow collected in his hair, interweaving in a messy arrangement, clothes artistically in disarray. In fact, looking like he just came out of makeup and hair for an Arctic-themed photoshoot really. This man was ridiculous. Yuuri looked back up to his screen in an attempt to end up deciphering the

The dog looked excited to be back, pawing at Viktor’s leg demanding to be unleashed, to which Viktor complied swiftly. And regretted just as fast. “Makka! No! Come back here, you are wet! I see what you are thinking… don’t you dare to— oh my god stop shaking, NO!”

Yuuri finally looked up hearing Viktor’s words, just in time for Makkachin to drop on top of him knocking the air out of his lungs in the process, with little care about almost pushing his laptop to the floor. Groaning, Yuuri closed the computer screen, and set it on the side table.

“Oh Yuuri, I’m sorry.” Viktor said, smiling fondly at him. He didn’t look apologetic at all, his eyes actually seemed to be twinkling, the sadist.

“Hi Viktor, it’s—” Makkachin wiggled on his lap and begged for attention, he cupped her face, “—and hi to you too, but you are wet. It’s fine, I was just—” he stopped and tried to convince himself that he had nothing to be embarrassed about, and continued calmly, “—just looking some wedding blogs up, I wanted to get a clearer idea of what we will need, are you against marrying in the U.S.?”

He wasn’t looking at Viktor, he was to busy with a little war against Makkachin. After a few gentle pushes (on Yuuri’s part) and quite a whining show (on Makka’s part) the dog got down, going back to the entrance to be toweled down. Yuuri followed her with his eyes, only to find Viktor staring at him in shock.

A heavy silence stretched between them.

At the lack of answer, Yuuri began thinking that he definitely could have phrased that better, and he hastily added: “I mean after everything of course, its not something we need to be really worrying about right now, and its not like we know what we will do in the future, it doesn’t have to be anything in particular if you are against it. I just wanted to get used to the idea, I’m—”

He stopped to catch his breath, and realized he didn’t know how to continue that sentence.

Viktor’s mind reeled back when he remembered that he was, in fact, expected to answer a question. He leaned down to towel Makkachin, who quickly escaped into the kitchen to eat her dinner.

He then walked towards Yuuri’s spot on the couch and kissed his lips softly, hand firmly placed against his cheek. _We could turn up the heater, his skin is too cold,_ Yuuri thought, _or get new gloves his current pair is really annoying, they get wet too easily_. But he had let himself be convinced by ‘ _Yuuri, they are so_ ** _pretty_** _,_ _look the color goes fabulously with Makka’s leash’,_ ** _and;_** of course priorities. _Where were we? Ah yes, panicking. Wait no, what? Already over that. Getting kissed! That was it._ He belatedly returned the kiss.

After a moment Viktor parted from his lips, but kept his eyes closed, placing his forehead against Yuuri’s. “Yuuri, everything is fine by me, I want to promise you my forever, its never soon enough to be able to do that, you are my _everything_ —” he paused and opened his eyes seemingly realizing a grave mistake, and rapidly amended, “—well and Makkachin, but she is a good girl and beautiful, and she does the thing where she sneezes when she lays on her back and totally counts.”

Looking at Yuuri’s eyes pleadingly he adds, “I mean I’m sure you don’t mind, do you?” He seemed genuinely worried at the possibility (as if Yuuri could do that.)

Viktor continued, voiced going quiet, “I was not expecting you to bring that out the moment I walked in, but—” he exhaled softly, and murmured with a lopsided smile, “—I’m so glad you are thinking about it… thinking about _us_.”

Seeing him like this, Yuuri couldn’t even remember why he was worried in the first place, he loved this man, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. In the end, that was all that mattered.

 

—

(He was going to murder them, with his own hands. Christophe first, he would be quick and nice, his grudge wasn’t as big so he’d spare him. On the other hand Viktor… He had thought about asking Yura to do it, he’d do it gladly, probably. But no, that would be to nice, Yuuri was going to take his time and make him _suffer_.)

—

 

After Viktor’s grandiose speech, Yuuri proceeded to react in the only reasonable fashion. Namely, he began to giggle, effectively breaking the mood that had fallen between them.

“Oh Viktor, really, that was so sappy! It’s in your Top Ten, and believe me that’s a pretty big statement considering you are, well, _you—_ ” he smiled up at him which quickly turned to a lopsided smirk, and putting on airs continued, “—but I do like Makkachin so I guess I will have to compromise to be with her… and marry you, a shame really.” He shrugged.

Viktor gasped theatrically, clenching a hand to his heart. “My Yuuri! I thought you loved me! how you wound me with your wicked words, my love, my heart is broken!” Viktor added, “But I do accept your reasons she is the best, I would do the same.”

He let himself fall down on top of Yuuri, resting his head on his chest (like dog, like owner),leaving him breathless again.

“Oh no, no! Viktor! Come on you are heavy!” he whined, Viktor just laughed in response, a darkening patch starting to form on Yuuri’s shirt around Viktor’s sprawled hair. “—and wet… go dry your hair.” he ruffled it trying to make a point.

“Yes, yes, I’ll get going—” Viktor stood up, making a dismissive gesture with his hand, “—and _then_ you are going to show me what you found!” He stated excitedly, kissing Yuuri’s forehead and headed into their bedroom.

With Viktor gone, he started looking up their possibilities at their home countries and the U.S., assessing what is vital and what is not. Millions of blogs on the topic come after a simple search.

Reading around, all can be resumed to a check list (plus additions per location): getting a marriage license, an officiant, making an appointment, both partners have to be present, etc. Well, he supposes it makes sense that marrying someone is not that complicated, after all many people gothrough it. Yuuri tells that to Viktor as he reenters the room some time later, sitting beside him and looking over his shoulder. “Good then, one thing less to worry about. So what will we need?”

“We need to fill in an application apparently, we will look at it in detail later,” he answers, downloading an example form and opening it. “Pretty basic information, they ask for full names, dates and place of birth, and so on.”

He pauses as his sight centers on a question at the bottom of the form. “And whether either party has been divorced—” he turned to Viktor smiling, “— have you been married without my knowledge?”

It was supposed to be a passing joke, for just laugh and a sarcastic retort at most, but instead he found his fiancé looking deep in thought at the screen. The silence stretched between them (the second this afternoon), with no apparent answer coming.

He wasn’t sure of what to think, not wanting to jump to a more destructive conclusion, he assumed the silence was probably Viktor’s idea of messing with him a bit. That is until his boyfriend turned to him, looking a lot like Makkachin when they caught her stealing food out of the kitchen’s counter, which is to say, extremely guilty.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” he asked raising his eyebrows a bit, and making it clear he wasn’t too amused.

Viktor stood up suddenly, taking his phone out. “Would you let me check something quickly?”

Well he really wasn’t expecting this.

“Sure…?” Yuuri answered, a bit shocked, this was taking it a bit far.

Viktor made a few clicks on the screen and put his phone to his ear, pacing around the coffee table. Picking up after only a ring, a voice resounded on the other side of the call. Viktor seemed to cheer up considerably.

“ _Bonsoir, mon amour._ ” A lover? And a french one at that! He learned enough french from a class in college to understand that much, but he trusted Viktor he’d never do that.

“[…]”

“ _T'es un imbécile—_ ” Okay, definitely not a lover then, a loud laugh sounded on the other side of the call. “ _—non Christophe!_ ”

Ah, well nothing to dwell on, Viktor continued, “Just do me the favor and stop… existing—” another laugh, “—anyway, I wanted to talk about the marriage thing remember?” _No wait, that was something to worry about._

“[…]~”

“Yes I know that, but did you do the thing on time and all? I don’t remember signing anything.”

“[…]!”

“What are you talking about?! You were going to leave a week later because you wanted a vacation! We decided you would do it!”

“[…]?”

His voice suddenly turned ice-cold, “You didn’t.”

“[…]”

Viktor rubbed his temples.“Okay, can you phone someone to check then? Or I’ll have to be a widow instead of a divorcee.”

_What._

“[…]~”

“Yeah thanks, bye.”

“Can you believe this Yuuri?” Viktor asked, turning around to find Yuuri staring worriedly at him. (Whoops?)

He started trying to explain the situation, “I realize this may look bad—” Yuuri raised his eyebrows, “—ok, looks really bad. It was his fault and I’m sorry! Please, just hear me out, okay?”

Yuuri just nodded stiffly. “You have three seconds to begin…”

“Yes! It all happened five years ago—”

 

—

Five years before

—

 

‘Oh my god, why’ was the first thought that crossed his mind as Viktor woke up to the harsh ringing of his alarm, low-key wishing to die for a little while. Which says a lot in on itself, Viktor Nikiforov rarely did things that could be considered _low-key._

To summarize his situation: he found himself naked (which was normal), not in his hotel room (which wasn’t normal, as much as other people seemed to believe so), and his head pounded terribly. There seemed to be a marching band on the corridor, judging by the drumming on his ears. Just then he noticed the warmth flanking his right side. He opened his eyes and groaned, the light coming through the windows couldn’t be natural, it was way too bright. Cautiously he turned to his right just to find a familiar pair of green eyes glaring at him. Viktor raised his eyebrows questioningly.

After a sigh, Christophe started, “Before you say anything, I know for a fact you are terribly hungover so how do you manage to look not dead?” he huffed offended, “You could literally have just woken up from a relaxing nap and look the same!”

“Thanks Chris, you look like a train rode you over,” the glare Viktor received would have killed lesser men (him too, but there was nothing left of him for the reaper to take, he had been long dead inside.)

Chris really did look terrible; his bedhead was a mess, makeup smeared across his face, and he happened to be wearing a dog collar (not a cute one at that) accompanied by lingerie that looked way more incriminating than if he had been naked. Additionally, there seemed to be red angry bruises embracing his wrists…

It was getting hard not to jump at conclusions.

“First, the expression is ‘ like you were hit by a train.’ Second, not all of us can be perfect 24/7 give me twenty minutes in the bathroom and I’ll be myself again.” He paused, “and I just woke up too, I have no idea what happened so if you could clear it up, that would be nice.”

“Uhmm…” Viktor said confused looking around the room, as he tried to recall what happened yesterday, but all that came to him were… an extremely ripped Britney Spears and dog-shaped steaks? That was all. He tried to sit up, falling back down at the wave of nausea that followed. He brought his hand to his mouth, where he felt _it_.

Oh no, no no no no **no**. That couldn’t be what he was thinking. Looking towards Chris, he found his fears confirmed. In their hands rested a pair of matching silver rings,they had been blackout drunk in Vegas. It didn’t really take a lot of guesswork to realize what may have most probably, surely, happened.

Chris followed Viktor’s gaze to find the same incriminating objects resting on their fingers.

…

…

…

To be fair, Chris took it pretty well, if it wasn’t for the nausea Viktor’s scream would have been higher and louder, this barely counted as a shriek. However, Viktor’s eardrums seemed to disagree.

“Viktor? Please tell me this isn’t what it looks like? I’m too young to be tied down like this. I mean yes I love you, don’t get me wrong, but you are like a brother? Why did we—” Chris stopped abruptly, and calmly stated, “I’ll never drink again.”

Viktor scoffed, “You won’t hold on to that for even a day. I just remember something to do with food, and dancing to… well lots of Britney Spears in general.”

“Britney-bae rules. Let’s check our phones for pictures.” suggested Chris. Seriously, between the two of them they _must_ have taken some. Viktor's phone died the moment he tried to unlock it. After throwing Christophe’s phone at him, he connected his own to the now vacant charger.

When Chris opened his images though, well… he knew they where flexible but not quite like that. Oh, that’s where the bruises came from! How the _fuck_ where they not arrested for that. He was sure the Circle du Soleil was not supposed to accept drunken people on stage and make them do _that_ … He slides to the next picture. Huh, surely not accepted then. How much did they even drink? He started to vaguely recall what happened, all the exercise followed by hunger.

The next picture was a selfie taken outside a restaurant, the announcement showing the novelty foods stated in bold letters, “Oppawtunity! Which one is the Doggielover and which Cataddicted?” above a picture of a Dog/Cat shaped pair of steaks and below… “For newlyweds only! Bon A-pet-treat”. 

Well, that explained their reasons, though it made no sense to limit a promotion like that. He’d probably still do it sober, well no, sober him knew well enough that pretending to be married or doing puppy eyes would have sufficed, really.

The next photo was one with both of them standing in a disco-themed chapel, clinging for dear life to their wedding officiant, a satisfied-looking Britney Spears imitator with WWC-fighter-worthy arms, lifting the two grown men in a simultaneous princes carry.

Finally, they reached the last picture, and the reality of what they did hit him just then. They had made a horrible mistake, he couldn’t actually believe it. How could he live with himself after such an offense? This picture showed the real tragedy of what happened the past night, the two of them sitting at oposite sides of the table. In front of him, not a dog, but a cat. He’d betrayed Makkachin, this picture, _this abomination_ , that painted him as a cat lover. He couldn’t believe it, not even drunk him would have made such a mistake.

Looking at Viktor’s devastated expression, Christophe couldn’t help himself anymore and started laughing hysterically.

"You find this funny?" asked Viktor, “Do you realize that we got married? And all of that to go eat the wrong steak.” he let himself fall onto the bed again, he didn’t want to get up ever again.

Chris laughingly held his left hand in front of Viktor's face. " _Oui_ , very. Don’t you? This is ridiculous.”

Viktor snorted he had to agree with that, if it wasn’t for his headache he’d probably join Chris in his laughing fit.

But it stopped suddenly, uncertainty flashed across Christophe's face “Hmm, now that you mention it, I do see a problem—” he grinned, “—we didn’t properly consummate our marriage.”

At that Viktor slapped his arm heartily. “Go take a shower you look seriously awful.”

“Ow, domestic violence already?” said Chris pouting.

He stood up walking towards the bathroom, he turned just before closing the door and commented, “By the way, if it makes you feel better, we didn’t eat the wrong steak, I remember you sobbing saying—” he filled his lungs and started whining in the most awful Viktor imitation ever accomplished, “ _But my Makkachin! I will never be able to see her in the eyes again if I eat something that looks like her! Such a crime!_ ” Viktor throws a pillow his way, meeting Christophe’s face, he took another one.

Putting his hands in the air to indicate peace, Chris continued, “And! I being the best espouse anyone could wish for, or—“ he looks away and mumbled, “—I may have cried too, thinking how it would hurt my Ely’s feelings… so we swapped.” He then turns and enters the bathroom. (The waiter may have been the one to suggest it, trying to calm the two drunk adults down, to avoid a bigger scene, but neither remembers that detail.)

Viktor did feel better. His phone buzzes as it turns on, reading the hour on his lock screen, he realized he was pretty much screwed. His flight was in two hours, which meant he should have been in the airport about an hour ago. The airport is over thirty minutes away and he hadn’t packed a thing.

For once in his life, he hoped his flight was delayed. Looking at his notifications, he saw he had 16 missed calls and 22 texts which proved to be from Yakov, who wanted to check that he was ‘getting his ass on the goddamn plane,’ so that he wouldn’t miss an interview and photoshoot he had scheduled for tomorrow. Seriously! Yakov didn’t trust him at all, which wasn’t fair (except it was, as he had just proved.) He needed to hurry.

Standing up he yelled, “Chris! Come quickly!”

“Thats not what you said last night~” Came the answer, followed by Christophe stepping out of the bathroom, face soapy, apparently struggling to get the makeup out or going for a run-overraccoon look.

“Chris! Look I’m sorry, but I really need to go.” He’d already started taking his scattered pieces of clothing from the room’s floor and dressing himself.

“You marry me, sleep with me, and leave me here alone? Oh, poor me! landing such an awful husband.”

“If I’m late for my flight Yakov will kill me! Do you want to be widowed at such a young age? The tragedy!” (There were many reasons for their good relationship, one of them was the drama flowing through both of them.) Chris snorts in response, walking back into the bathroom, and turning the shower on.

Viktor finishes dressing himself, “No but seriously, I have to go like right now, you are staying here for a pair of days more aren’t you? See how to fix this please!”

Chris answers with a halfhearted yes. And with that, Viktor is on his way.

As luck would have it, his flight was on time for once. He had to run through half the airport to be able to get there before the gates closed. He forgot to take the ring when passing through the metal detector, seeing the TSA agent’s look, he winked and said: “A new addition.” And passed again. Afterwards, he put the ring in his jacket pocket. Once on the plane he fell sound asleep, he would deal with it later, he just needed to wait until Chris sent him the information after all.

As the ring fell out of his jacket on the next washing day, he thought about calling Chris, but remembered he’d probably kill him if he tried to call at this time (stupid time zones), and decided to do it later. The ring ended in the bottom of a drawer and then, as he usually did, he forgot everything about the ordeal.

 

—

 

When Viktor ends his story, Yuuri was a lot more calm. All the same, he had _many_ questions.

“How did this never come up?”

Viktor blinked, like he wasn’t expecting to be interrogated. Which he should have, being something totally reasonably to assume in such a situation.

“I was busy with my career and Chris with his, when we met we just did more… lived interesting experiences. So we kinda forgot?” Under Yuuri’s disbelieving stare he continued, “Seriously! the vacation was two days long because we couldn’t find more time, even the flight took part of those two days, it was like a one night trip!”

“Viktor, I know you, and I know Chris. I can’t believe you didn’t joke about this 24/7.” It really was out of character from them.

“We did joke about it once or twice. But Yakov overheard us and threatened with ‘double castration if we ever did something so moronic’ to risk our careers. Obviously, we decided it was preferable to avoid that. So we shouldn’t risk others finding out, bad for our image and all that, and left it be.”

Now, it it was a miracle that no-one had ever found out about it really. But that didn’t change the fact that Viktor was _married, and had been so for five years_. He knew Viktor could be careless but this was something else. “Why did you never follow this up?”

Viktor mumbled.

“What?”

“I kinda forgot until you mentioned it?” Viktor responded, shrugging his shoulders.

“It is a marriage! It doesn’t just go away on his own!”

“It was a Vegas wedding, you can’t take it as seriously as a marriage-marriage and we where both pretty drunk and—”, at Yuuri’s ‘you-know-that’s-bullshit-do-you-wanna-sleep-on-the-couch- _again_ ’ look he decides to stop. Changing his approach, he tried being conciliatory, “We were busy, I do get your point but we can’t do anything about the past so let’s just try to fix it? Please?”

Yuuri sighed, his headache was gonna kill him. “Find something, I’m gonna go lay down. Wake me up when you find a solution.” And so he did, leaving Viktor looking through pages on his phone.

Yet his rest was short lived, as not fifteen minutes later Viktor barreled in on him with a big smile on his face. At that Yuuri's good sense screamed at him that bullshit was coming his way.

 

—

Present

—

 

Yuuri lamented everything that had brought him up to this point.

Strangely enough the judge’s position had changed from furious to deep interest in the show they were presenting. He felt abandoned in this chaos. Thankfully, it didn’t last much longer. After one of the security wards cleared his throat and looked pointedly at the clock, the judge decided to stopped the portrayal.

Viktor and Chris interrupted their narration, turning towards the judge sheepishly. They took their respective places, listening attentively.

Finally, the judge spoke: “So if I understand correctly, you are asking for a termination of marriage by means of divorce, at fault of Mr. Nikiforov, because he took part in an extramarital relationship?”

“Yes your Honor,” responded the two in unison.

Adjusting her glasses, he looked down on them, “Can you tell me when you got married and if you have been living together from then to date? As well as the circumstances at the moment of your union?”

_Shit, they had been caught._

Viktor responded guiltily, “We have not your Honor, our careers don’t permit it.” _Yeah, that sounded credible,_ “Concerning the marriage… we married in Las Vegas—” _And ruined._

The judge sighed resigned, “I am going to stop you there, you are not my first case. I am disposed to ignore the fact that all of what you have said until now is a lie, just because of its entertainment potential—” she coughs, “—if you tell me in 20 words or less, what the real situation is and I get to have you out of my court in the next three minutes.”

She looks at the three of them, “So who will speak?”

Yuuri found all eyes turned towards him and exhaled.

“Your Honor, the two of them are idiots, who drunk married in Vegas—” he can’t actually believe what he was about to say still held true, “and I want to marry Viktor.” _Did that sound to harsh? It definitely did._ “If possible? Please. I really love him? We are very, very sorry for lying!” and bowed harshly.

Raising his head up, he found the judge smiling softly at him. _God,_ were they lucky.

However, her expression turned hard the moment she faced the other two. “I suppose you didn’t inform yourselves in what would apply better to your case. But if you possess proof that confirms that the level of intoxication you found yourselves in, at the moment of the ceremony, made you incapable of performing an informed decision, you are elegible for a direct annulment on ground of ‘Mental Incapacity.’” The two of them cheered, doing a high-five.

Chris stepped forward and affirmed, “Your Honor, we have proof of our level of intoxication, if I may present photographic evidence? I have it here on my phone.”

“If it is significant, please do.” She really wanted them to go already.

After a bit of scrolling, Chris approaches the bench and shows here the pictures of that night.

Her face turns white, after scrolling for a minute, “Mr. Giacometti, are you aware that I could demand your arrest with this pictures as evidence? I won’t because I prefer to never see have you in front of me again, just needed to be noted.”

“Thanks your Honor, that is very kind of you.”

“I take those photographs as conclusive evidence that _neither_ of the participant parties was able to consent to an union. Hereby declaring the official dissolution of the marriage in question, you will obtain your papers in the next few weeks.” And looking at them a last time,said, “Just please get out already, and close the door behind you.”

The three left as quickly as they could, Yuuri on the front. He was extremely relieved, he thought they really were going to be arrested. Even better he could marry Viktor! Well not yet, but soon, when they had the papers.

But before that, he needed to kill the bastard. Turning sharply on his heel he met his fiancee’s eyes and pleasantly saw them fill up with terror. He was going to have his fun~ 

 

 

And if at their wedding Chris winked mentioning something about “being there first”, when doing his toast as Viktor’s best man… well, everyone’s minds went somewhere else. Christophe was Christophe after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t posses the characters of Yuri on Ice, have no knowledge of law, and my first language isn’t English. No Yuuris were harmed in the writing of this story.
> 
> An awfully belated birthday present for my fave sis! Here, my first fic!


End file.
